Rejection

Two nights ago (or whenever it was), I watched Kevin Smith and Ben Affleck’s commentary track of Jersey Girl.  They didn’t comment on the movie at all, but instead speculated as to why this movie was a commercial failure.

Every time I hear Kevin Smith refer to Jersey Girl as a “box office failure,” it breaks my heart.  I adore this movie and wouldn’t classify it as a failure in any sense.  After listening to the commentary, I realized that Kevin and Ben don’t classify it as a failure either, really.  It’s one of the movies of which they are most proud, but the lack of turn out in the movie theaters was still disappointing to them both.  Whether it was Ben’s relationship with Jennifer Lopez that overshadowed the movie or rejection from Kevin’s core fan base, or a combination of several factors, it left Kevin questioning the decisions he made in making the movie.  Ultimately, he says he doesn’t regret any of the decisions he made because he liked how the film turned out and any change in casting decision or editing change would have resulted in a different film.  In short, he stands by his work, even though it wasn’t as well received as he had hoped.  

This all got me thinking a lot about “rejection.”  To date, I have about thirty rejection letters from literary agents and countless no responses.  Often I think if just one agent would give me a break, then my work will be accepted and I won’t have to worry about rejection any more.  Not true.  Rejection takes many forms and it stings the most successful of writers as well as those of us who have yet to publish.

Let’s say an agent signs my novel.  He or she may never be able to sell it to a publisher.  Or let’s say it is sold to a publisher; there are dozens of things that could go wrong to prevent it from ever actually being published.  Or let’s say it is published and turned into a book; it might not sell.  Or it might sell, but it is lambasted by critics.  Or maybe it is heralded by critics and even wins awards; there will, undoubtedly, be the one negative review from a reader on Goodreads or Amazon that cuts me to the core.

And then there’s the next novel – or the third or the fourth – the whole cycle starts again with all of the rejection that comes along with it.  Rejection is inevitable when you put your words out into the world.  It’s part of the deal.  “Get a tough skin,” I keep hearing from those that would advise me.  But where do you get one?  Even if you’re Kevin Smith and it’s your sixth film, it still stings when someone doesn’t love what you’ve created.